Commentary:
Living the dream: skip the work and go straight to the tropical beach villa! 🍹💸🏝️
170 Funny ID quotes
If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”
Commentary:
Demon: "I've made a grave mistake." Me: "Welcome to the chaos, buddy!" 😈🤷♀️
I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.
Commentary:
Sounds like you'd be the first werewolf to request a spa day during a full moon! 🌕🛀🐺
If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.
Commentary:
The highest form of bromance: sharing pizza crumbs and a 6 train. 🍕🐀🚇
Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
Commentary:
I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔
Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.
Commentary:
Well, looks like I need a loan because my cat just hired a lawyer 😂🐱💸
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.
Commentary:
Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.
Commentary:
I'll save laughing at this for later 😂💊⏳
If I were karma, I’d watch my back.
Commentary:
Karma must be hitting the gym, lifting some iron 🤔💪😄
Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic.
Commentary:
Talk about thinking you're untouchable—those geese must have been former traffic wardens in a past life!