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Sounds like you'd be the first werewolf to request a spa day during a full moon! 🌕🛀🐺
168 Funny ID quotes
If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.
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The highest form of bromance: sharing pizza crumbs and a 6 train. 🍕🐀🚇
Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
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I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔
Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.
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Well, looks like I need a loan because my cat just hired a lawyer 😂🐱💸
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.
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Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.
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I'll save laughing at this for later 😂💊⏳
If I were karma, I’d watch my back.
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Karma must be hitting the gym, lifting some iron 🤔💪😄
Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic.
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Talk about thinking you're untouchable—those geese must have been former traffic wardens in a past life!
It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.
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WhatsApp and I are in a toxic relationship—breaking up would be ideal, but we just keep texting 😂📱💔
Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.
Commentary:
When you want your daily dose of news to come with a side order of existential dread 📚😅🌍