11 Funny mattress quotes

• I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

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  1 month ago

  bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task

• An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

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  1 month ago

  air, air mattress, best, comfort, etiquette, guest, guest etiquette, hospitality, houseguest, humor, mattress, social, social humor, stay, tell, too, visitor

• Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

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  1 month ago

  advice, blanket, funny advice, humor, mattress, money, savings, sleep, sleeping, weighted, weighted blanket

• At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

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  1 month ago

  adulthood, age, comfort, good, humor, mattress, priorities, sleep, want

• I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

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  1 month ago

  bed, crunchy, food, humor, i, joke, mattress, pun, sleep, Tempura, too

• The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

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  1 month ago

  bed, childhood, fears, floor, humor, imagination, mattress, monster, monsters, possibility

• The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

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  2 months ago

  comfort, experience, fine, guest, guest room, humor, i, mattress, room, sleep

• King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

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  2 months ago

  bed, code, distance, humor, king-sized, mattress, relationship, same, sleep, want, zip, zip code

• Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

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  2 months ago

  funny situation, humor, just, mattress, relationship, situation, sleep, wake, wake up, wife

• All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

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  2 months ago

  activity, favorite, favorite activity, humor, laziness, mattress, relaxation, sleep

All funny mattress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌