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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Seen just now on X:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Making waves on X:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Just shared via YouTube:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Trending via Slack:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Home » Funny Morning Quotes » Page 2

260 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Commentary:
Who needs caffeine when your waxing appointment has you wide awake? ☕️🙈
1 week ago
Share →: Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Commentary:
In that universe, I bet caffeine is the one that needs me to wake up! ☕️😂✨
1 week ago
Share →: Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Commentary:
When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Commentary:
Looks like you found the secret to waking up perky every day! 😂🌞✨
1 week ago
Share →: Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Commentary:
Mornings need a secret coffee break just to handle the upcoming chaos! ☕🤣
1 week ago
Share →: First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Commentary:
Sounds perfect! Just let me know if you need any extra pillows, blankets, or a coffee-making tutorial ☕🛌😂
1 week ago
Share →: “Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Commentary:
Sunday mornings are a breeze… until the mini humans launch their chaotic surprise party! 🎉👶🎈
1 week ago
Share →: I woke up alive again.

Commentary:
Living the dream, one accidental success at a time! 😂🎉💤
1 week ago
Share →: The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Commentary:
Sounds like their alarm is just doing cardio while they stay in hibernation mode 😴⏰🏃‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Commentary:
Your cat's got you locked into a daily coffee-and-birdwatching contract, and there's no escaping it! ☕️🐦😹

For even more funny morning quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Breaking via Instagram:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Just shared via Threads:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Making waves on Reddit:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Reported on WhatsApp:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

260 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

For even more funny morning quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My favorite color is sunshine.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

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