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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

365 Funny motivation quotes

Funny motivation quotes give a humorous twist to the quest for inspiration and drive. 💪😄 From clever quips about overcoming obstacles to playful takes on getting things done, these quotes make the pursuit of goals a bit more entertaining. Enjoy a laugh while you stay motivated and tackle your challenges with a smile! 😂✨

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

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