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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

366 Funny motivation quotes

Funny motivation quotes give a humorous twist to the quest for inspiration and drive. 💪😄 From clever quips about overcoming obstacles to playful takes on getting things done, these quotes make the pursuit of goals a bit more entertaining. Enjoy a laugh while you stay motivated and tackle your challenges with a smile! 😂✨

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

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