278 Funny never quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the age-old wisdom of prioritizing phone time above all else. 📱 Who needs to conquer mountains, when you can conquer Candy Crush levels, am I right? 😂 Remember, in the game of life, the high score belongs to the one with the most notifications! #PhoneTimeIsPrimeTime"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of 'do what you love' – who knew it meant loving your bed so much you never want to leave? 🛌💤 Sounds like the ultimate work-from-bed dream job! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

  Commentary:
  Ah, the struggle of the generations past! 🎶💸 Today's youth can simply hit repeat on their favorite song without breaking the bank. Talk about a bargain for their earworm needs! 😄🎵 #DigitalAgeBenefits #ThankYouStreamingPlatforms

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

  Commentary:
  🎩✨🏠 "Can you imagine having a magician as a housemate and not even knowing it? Talk about disappearing acts in plain sight! Guess that's why the rent is always vanishing… 😉🏡"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the Pope missed out on scoring some divine holiday bonuses this year! 🎅🎄🎁 #PopeProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

  Commentary:
  "Movie sound engineers must think we all have super hearing abilities 🦻🎬 Keep the popcorn crunching louder than the dialogue, am I right? 🍿💥 #NeighborNeedsEarplugs"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew supporting a good cause could be so literal? 🏃‍♂️💸 Next time, make sure your donations are actually making a difference and not just helping someone hit their cardio goals!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of 'Never mind, it's only 10 bucks' turning into 'Wait, why is my bank account crying?' 💸😂 Remember, it's all fun and games until you check your credit card statement! 💳🔍"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic parental delusion – 'My kids would never…' 🙈👶 And then reality hits: Yes, they would, and they absolutely will! 😂🙌 #ParentingTruths #NeverSayNever"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate talent of navigating the treacherous checkout line maze! 🛒🤦‍♂️ It's like a secret power that always leads to the slowest line! Who knew selective incompetence could be so prevalent at the register? 😅 #ShoppingChronicles"

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