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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Just shared via Messenger:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Trending via Messenger:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Just shared via Slack:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Making waves on Slack:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Home » Funny Off Quotes

Funny off quotes

Funny off quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor when you need to tell someone to buzz off without sounding harsh 😜✌️ Whether you’re feeling sassy, cheeky, or just downright playful, these witty lines will have you laughing while keeping it light and fun 😂🔥 Ready to spice up your comebacks and brighten the mood? Let’s dive into the world of hilarious shut-downs that pack a punch with a smile! 😎💥

New funny off quotes 👇

All funny off quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,703

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

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