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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Live now on Slack:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Seen just now on TikTok:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Shared recently on TikTok:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Live now on Pinterest:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Making waves on Reddit:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Going viral on Telegram:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Spotted on WeChat:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Just landed via Reddit:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Just landed via Twitch:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Making waves on Facebook:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

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