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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

24 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Trending via Messenger:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Just landed via Facebook:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The void screams into me.

Trending via Facebook:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Making waves on Reddit:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Home » Funny Pardon Quotes

Funny pardon quotes

New funny pardon quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: 76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Commentary:
"Looks like those turkeys just can't stay out of trouble! 🦃🚓 Maybe they're just too used to living life on the edge of the Thanksgiving table. Watch out for these repeat offenders… they might just be planning their next great escape! 🤣 #turkeytrouble"
6 months ago
Share →: By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Commentary:
"Looks like the turkeys are all 'gobble-guilty'! 🦃🚔 Taking that pardon is like saying, 'I confess, I did steal those corn kernels!' 😂 #TurkeysOnTrial"

For even more funny pardon quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pardon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

24 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Spotted on YouTube:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Going viral on Instagram:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

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