719 Funny people quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

  Commentary:
  "Step right up and witness the extraordinary spectacle of confidence outweighing accuracy on the grand stage of the internet! 🎪🤣 Don't worry, if you're feeling lost in this swirling sea of misinformation, you're not alone! 🌊🙈 Just remember: the internet is the only place where you can be confidently wrong 24/7! 🌐😜"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe we've been doing it all wrong, and social distancing was the key to happiness all along! 🤔💭 Avoid people, embrace solitude, and enjoy the peaceful sound of your own thoughts… seems like a solid plan! 🌟😂 #IntrovertLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate showdown of the spelling bees! 🐝🎤 Whoever spells correctly wins the online argument game! 🏆💻 Remember folks, in the realm of digital battles, autocorrect is not your friend! 🤪🔠 #SpellingMatters"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days when idiot distribution was a bit more manageable 🤪🏞️ There's definitely a charm to the simplicity of having just one village idiot to deal with!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

  Commentary:
  "Remember folks, karma has a fantastic memory and she always collects her debts! 😏💸 Treat others kindly, unless you enjoy being on the receiving end of her payback plan! 🔮😜"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a fitness tracker when your friend selection criteria already includes a built-in speed test? 🏃‍♂️🚶‍♀️ Because surviving a nature walk shouldn't turn into a sprinting competition… unless you're up for the challenge! 🌲😄 #FitnessGoals #SpeedTest"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

  Commentary:
  Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

  Commentary:
  🛫✨ Welcome to the exclusive airport for seasoned socialites! Here, we promise smooth takeoffs and landings without any turbulence caused by first-time flyers forgetting basic manners. After all, it's all fun and games until someone tries to board the plane before it even arrives! Fly high with finesse at our airport – where the only baggage we allow is the one you check at the counter. 😉✈️ #TravelLikeAPro #NoNewbiesAllowed

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that the sound of someone chewing could be the ultimate kryptonite? 🦸‍♂️🍽️ It's like a symphony of crunches and smacks… but instead of music, it's just irritation in stereo! 🎵🙉 #PetPeeves #ChewOnThat"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It's like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices"

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