719 Funny people quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

  Commentary:
  "Triathletes are just overachievers looking for an excuse to wear spandex in public 🏊‍♂️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♂️ Who needs one sport when you can struggle through three, am I right? 😅 #TriathlonTorture"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

  Commentary:
  "Embark on a family road trip for an exhilarating adventure of scenic views and screen-time defense tactics! 🚗📱👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Sit back, relax, and enjoy the beauty of nature while dodging distracted gazes. It's a game of 'Spot the Scenery!' 🌿📵 #FamilyRoadTripFun"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a gym when you can burn calories just from hearing about someone else's jam-packed schedule? 💪⏰🤯"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

  Commentary:
  Having kids is a surefire way to turn your cozy home into a labyrinth of lost items! 🤪🔍 It's like living in a real-life game of "Hide and Seek" where the only thing hiding is your sanity! 🏠🧸 #ParentingPuzzle

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

  Commentary:
  🤣 What a refreshing approach! Talk about making password changes a breeze – who needs complexity and security when you can stick with the classics, right? 🤷‍♂️ It’s like telling potential hackers, “Hey, here’s the door, just make sure to knock next time you come snooping around!” 🚪🔓 Well, with this policy in place, at least we can all save some brainpower for more pressing matters… like debating which snack to

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

  Commentary:
  "Eight hours of sleep? Sounds like a wild fairytale 🧚‍♂️🌙 Who are these magical creatures with such luxurious snooze time? Count me in for a slice of that dreamy pie! 😴💤"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

  Commentary:
  "Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of living with a dog: no need to worry about dropped food because you've got a furry cleanup crew on standby! 🐾 Who needs a vacuum when you've got a hungry pooch around? 😂🐶 #LifeHack"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of opposites attracting! 🛏️💕 One person starts the day with military precision, while the other sees bed-making as optional decor. It's a match made in heaven – or at least in the bedroom! 😄 #OppositesAttract

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

  Commentary:
  "Isn't it ironic how we all dream of exploring the final frontier in a galaxy far, far away, yet can't shake the feeling that we might end up in a post-apocalyptic desert reality? 🌌🤖🚀 Welcome to the ultimate battle between lightsabers and survival gear! May the force (and gasoline) be with you!"

For even more funny people quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌