714 Funny people quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

  Commentary:
  "Having kids is the ultimate excuse for being fashionably late 🕒 Who needs an alarm clock when you can just blame the little ones for a tardy entrance? 😂 #ParentingPerks"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to spark conversations with people is like sending messages into the void and hoping for a reply 🌌 Maybe a little bit of weirdness is just what it takes to get that reply! 🤪💬"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

  Commentary:
  Well, finding someone who likes you back is like hitting the jackpot in love! 🎰 So if your crush always likes you back, either you have some magical charm or they really have excellent taste… or maybe you're just really funny! 😂 Either way, keep spreading those good vibes and witty jokes! Who knows, you might just charm your way into their heart with a punchline. 💘

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

  Commentary:
  Wow, can you believe it? Some people are out there living on the edge of chaos, packing just the essentials for their trip. 🧳🧦 Who needs options when you can have simplicity, right? Maybe they're just really good at re-wearing outfits and embracing the minimalist lifestyle. 💁‍♂️👚 Next level packing skills or sheer bravery? You decide! 😄 #TravelLightAndThrillBright

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently sharing sandwiches isn't as cool as sharing a joint 🥪🌿 Who knew there was a 'subtle' sandwich etiquette we've all been missing out on? 😂 #WeirdButHungry"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the audacity of not being invited to events we didn't want to go to in the first place! 🙄 It's a true paradox – the perfect blend of FOMO and relief! 😂 Who says you can't have your cake and not eat it too? 🍰 #SelectiveSocializing"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

  Commentary:
  "Planning a grand exit, eh? 💥 Just when you thought you’d seen it all, in comes a plot twist! 🎬😂 Always keeping us on our toes, even in the afterlife! 👻 #UnexpectedDemise"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic surprise wedding approach! 😂💍 Remember, nothing says 'I do' like catching someone off guard. Just be sure to watch out for any unexpected plot twists 👀🤵‍♂️👰"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like people really love their Roombas… until it's time to let them spread their wings and venture into the wild! 🤖🦋 #FreeTheRoombas"

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