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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Just landed via Facebook:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Trending via X:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Spotted on Slack:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Trending via Messenger:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Funny preschool quotes

Funny preschool quotes bring endless giggles and heartwarming moments to the early learning journey 🎉🧸 From silly sayings to unexpected wisdom, these little voices remind us why childhood is pure magic ✨😂 Whether you’re a teacher, parent, or just a kid at heart, get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even learn a thing or two! 🌈🎈 #PreschoolFun #LittleLaughs

New funny preschool quotes 👇

All funny preschool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

98 shares on Slack this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

11 shares on X this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Spotted on Discord:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Going viral on TikTok:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Breaking via X:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Shared recently on X:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

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