Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Shared recently on WeChat:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Spotted on Threads:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Just shared via Twitch:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Breaking via WeChat:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Going viral on X:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Going viral on Messenger:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Funny quest quotes

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New funny quest quotes 👇

All funny quest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Spotted on Discord:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Trending via Pinterest:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Seen just now on X:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

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