Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Shared recently on Slack:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Just shared via Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Just shared via YouTube:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Spotted on X:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Funny raw quotes

Funny raw quotes bring a burst of unfiltered humor and real talk that hits just right 😂🔥 Perfect for shaking up your day with some honest laughs and cheeky vibes 😜 Whether you’re scrolling for a mood boost or craving that savage truth served with a smile, these gems will keep you entertained and thinking 🤪💬 Get ready to embrace the hilarious side of reality like never before!

New funny raw quotes 👇

All funny raw quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

49 shares on Threads this month:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

25 shares on X this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Spotted on TikTok:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Just landed via Instagram:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Making waves on Discord:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

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