Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Freshly posted on Discord:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Trending via Threads:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Making waves on Threads:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Funny ritual quotes

Funny ritual quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday habits and quirky routines 😂✨ Whether it’s your morning coffee dance ☕💃 or that oddly specific way you prep for bedtime 🛏️😴, these witty lines celebrate the little things that make life amusing. Ready to laugh at the rituals we all secretly love? Let’s dive into some humor that turns daily habits into pure comedy gold! 🎉🤣

New funny ritual quotes 👇

All funny ritual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

80 shares on X this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Just landed via X:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Just shared via Instagram:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Seen just now on Slack:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Making waves on WeChat:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going viral on Slack:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

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