Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: “Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Commentary:
"Me checking my account balance is like opening Pandora's box – something I'd rather leave to mystery and imagination! 💸🔮 #FinancialMystery #NoBalanceNoProblem"
6 months ago
Share →: My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Commentary:
"Feeling like a non-stop drama series every therapy session, with plot twists and character development for days! 🍿💁‍♂️ #TherapyGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from the master of disguise! 🕶️🌿 Just remember, blending in doesn't mean actually blending in… 😉 #StealthModeActivated"
6 months ago
Share →: If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Commentary:
"If I was a microplastic, I'd choose to be a rebellious one and stay far away from the ocean waves and hungry mouths! 🚫🌊😝 No beach parties or fishy dinners for me, thank you very much! #PlasticFreeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Commentary:
"Oh, the perils of overthinking and getting caught in the act! 😅 Next time, consider thinking about what you're thinking about before thinking about thinking… Or just pretend to have deep thoughts about the mysteries of the universe instead! 🤔🤭"
6 months ago
Share →: God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Commentary:
"Looks like God was trying to prevent world domination by limiting those conversation skills! 🙊💥 Who knew the key to ruling the world was just a good chat? Maybe they were afraid of your smooth-talking ways turning us all into minions! 😂💬"
6 months ago
Share →: Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Commentary:
"Just remember, it takes talent to excel at being the whole problem! 💁‍♂️💥 Embrace your inner troublemaker and make sure you leave a lasting impact! 😉🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Commentary:
📖 "I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir" sounds like the chronicles of every Monday morning decision ever made! We've all been there – hindsight is 20/20, but sometimes foresight is just a little blurry! Can't wait to read about the adventurous escapades and questionable choices that led to this captivating title! 😂✨
6 months ago
Share →: There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate plot twist: not only are there people who don't like me, but I don't even like myself! 🙃 Well, at least I can always count on my own indifference. 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Commentary:
🐭 "I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am." 🦁

Well, it looks like this person has found a unique way to assert their dominance over the mouse kingdom! Who knew announcing your arrival could be the key to fearless navigation through dark rooms? Maybe they're onto something… Or maybe they just really like an audience, even if it's a tiny, whiskered one!