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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

54 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Just landed via Threads:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Just shared via Instagram:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Just shared via Twitch:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on Slack:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Freshly posted on X:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Just shared via X:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Home » Funny Self-cleaning Quotes

Funny self-cleaning quotes

New funny self-cleaning quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Self-cleaning conscience.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive self-cleaning conscience – the ultimate cheat code for absolving guilt! 🧼✨ No need for any mental scrubbing or moral laundry – just set it on autopilot and voilà, a sparkling clean conscience ready for another round of mischief! 😉🧹 #ConscienceGoals

For even more funny self-cleaning quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-cleaning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

54 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Making waves on Reddit:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Going viral on Twitch:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Live now on WeChat:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

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