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97 Funny social interaction quotes

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

2 weeks ago

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

2 weeks ago

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

2 weeks ago

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

2 weeks ago

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

3 weeks ago

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

1 month ago

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

1 month ago

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

1 month ago

How do I un-know people?

1 month ago

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

1 month ago

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

1 month ago

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

1 month ago

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

1 month ago

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

1 month ago

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

2 months ago

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

2 months ago

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

2 months ago

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

2 months ago

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

2 months ago

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

2 months ago