Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Trending via YouTube:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Just shared via Telegram:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Making waves on WeChat:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Spotted on Twitch:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Spotted on WeChat:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Just shared via Messenger:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Funny subtitle quotes

Funny subtitle quotes bring a burst of laughter to your screen, turning ordinary scenes into unforgettable moments 😂🎬. Whether you’re binge-watching or scrolling through memes, these witty captions add that perfect punch of humor 😆✨. Ready to giggle, snort, and share some epic one-liners? Dive into the world of hilarious subtitles that keep the fun rolling nonstop! 🎉📺🔥

New funny subtitle quotes 👇

All funny subtitle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

64 shares on TikTok this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Spotted on TikTok:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Just landed via WeChat:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Just shared via YouTube:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Just shared via Discord:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

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