Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

129 Funny take quotes

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

3 months ago

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

3 months ago

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

3 months ago

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

3 months ago

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

3 months ago

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

3 months ago

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

3 months ago

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

3 months ago

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

3 months ago

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

3 months ago

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

3 months ago

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

3 months ago

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

3 months ago

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

3 months ago

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

3 months ago

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

3 months ago

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

3 months ago

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

3 months ago

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

3 months ago

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

3 months ago