141 Funny take quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

  Commentary:
  "Taking a nap and waking up with a headache is like hitting the reset button on your brain, only to find out it's still running the same glitchy software! 💤🤕 #NapFail"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

  Commentary:
  "Rule #1 for family reunions: Always be the designated driver and bring your own car; bonus points if it's a getaway vehicle! 🚗💨 Who needs to stay for awkward small talk when you can make a quick exit in style? #FamilyDramaDetour"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

  Commentary:
  "Well, isn't that just life's special way of saying surprise, surprise! 🙃 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, here comes another plot twist ready to stir things up! 🌪️ Hang in there, the merry-go-round of nonsense keeps spinning! 🎠 #LifeIsAJoke"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the majestic meeting! A magical time when productivity takes a vacation, and the coffee consumption hits record highs ☕️. Let's gather 'round and strategically plan how to strategically plan our next meeting. Productivity? Who's she? 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can have a 24/7 lavish lifestyle, am I right? 💁‍♀️💰 Just imagine trading in your work pants for designer robes and swapping that morning commute for a leisurely spa day at home! #LivingTheDream"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

  Commentary:
  "Girls taking bubble bath leg pics and asking 'guess where I am'? 🛁📚 Last time I checked, library vibes don't include sipping bubbly and soaking in suds! 🤣 #BookwormsBathtime"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

  Commentary:
  "Driving tip of the day: apparently, the road to becoming a pro driver doesn't include hitting curbs and making trash cans nervous. 🚗💨 Who knew, right? Watch out, Formula 1, here comes the trash can demolition derby champ!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Take my advice, I’m not using it.

  Commentary:
  "Take my advice, I'm not using it – said every procrastinator ever. 🤷‍♂️✨ #AdviceConfusion #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal mystery of the dating world 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Perhaps it's because women are searching for that elusive diamond in the rough 💎 or maybe they're just enjoying the buffet of options 🍽️🍷 One thing's for sure, it's all part of the fun and games of love and romance! 💘😄

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