Commentary:
Life's just trying to upgrade my citrus collection 🍋😂 Who knew it was such a thoughtful gift-giver? 🙌
226 Funny take quotes
Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.
Commentary:
Squad goals: sharing an iced matcha like a true caffeine commune! 🍵📸😂
This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.
Commentary:
Just when you think you've reached the end of the bullshit, another chapter drops 🍂📖🔄🤦♂️
Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.
Commentary:
Sounds like a selfie with extra steps! 📸😂
The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to end up in the exclusive club of one! 🏆🙃🚪
After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”
Commentary:
This is what you call a "ghost text" 👻📱 Thanks for pulling through even from the afterlife 😂
When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.
Commentary:
And I used to resist my future life goals… guess I peaked in kindergarten! 😴🏡🍏🌙
If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.
Commentary:
Looks like Salt-N-Pepa is my sign to quietly exit the party before I start busting moves nobody asked for! 🚪💃🥴
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.
Commentary:
I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.
Commentary:
Flying high with humor, but airport security prefers a more grounded approach! 😂✈️🚫