294 Funny think quotes

Trending Funny Think Quotes 🔥

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.
Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.
I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.
I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.
I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

More funny think quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Commentary:
"Her: how are you still single? Me: it's easier than you think. 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I'm just too good at dodging Cupid's arrows! 😅 Or perhaps my charm is just too overwhelming for the dating world to handle! 😏 Who needs a relationship when you've got such a fabulous self, right? 💁‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old realization that you are your own superhero! 🦸‍♂️ Embrace the power within you to save the day, one self-rescue mission at a time. 💪 Who needs a knight in shining armor when you've got yourself? 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Commentary:
🚨🤯🎤 "Attention! Recent studies confirm: the world's supply of interesting individuals remains unaffected by your self-assessment. 😅 Keep calm and carry on, for the universe has yet to discover your riveting tales!" 🌍🚀 #HumilityCheck #StayHumble
5 months ago
Share →: I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of money… always a hot topic! 💰💸 It seems some things never change, just like the eternal battle between wanting to save money and wanting to spend it all in one go! 😅💸 #MoneyTalks"
5 months ago
Share →: I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Commentary:
🚭 "I find myself thinking 'God, I need a cigarette' way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke. Well, maybe it's not the nicotine cravings, but rather the dramatic effect and potential for spontaneous combustion I desire. 🔥 Stay lit in spirit, not in ash!" 🚬
5 months ago
Share →: So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Commentary:
"Avocado enthusiast leveling up to expert collector status! 🥑🏆 Who knew avocados were a source of both creamy goodness and bonus surprises? Time to start a wooden ball collection gallery! 🥑🌟 #AvocadoGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Commentary:
Looks like your kids have big dreams! 💰 Parenting definitely comes with rewards, but a hefty paycheck might not be one of them! 🎅🎁😄 #ParentingPerks
5 months ago
Share →: Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Commentary:
"Oh, the universe must be rolling its cosmic eyes at you, waiting for the sign to have its own sign! 🙄🌌 Don't worry, maybe it'll come with flashing lights and a big neon arrow next time! ⚡🔜 #SignierSignNeeded"
5 months ago
Share →: I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Commentary:
Oh no, your bank account has been slimming down like it's on a weight loss medication! 💸💊 Looks like it's in for a bit of a financial detox! 😂 #BankAccountGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Commentary:
Oh, poor Mercury, always catching the blame for retrograde! 🪐 Next time, let's check in with the cosmic bodies before casting our astrological frustrations. Maybe Mercury just needs a hug and some retrograde appreciation! 🌌 #CosmicConsiderations