455 funny think quotes - Page 12 - Wordgag

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

May 19, 2026

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

May 19, 2026

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

May 19, 2026

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

May 19, 2026

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

May 19, 2026

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

May 19, 2026

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

May 19, 2026

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

May 19, 2026

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

May 19, 2026

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

May 19, 2026

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

May 19, 2026

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

May 19, 2026

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

May 19, 2026

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

May 19, 2026