Home » Funny Too Quotes » Page 16

184 Funny too quotes

Trending Funny Too Quotes 🔥

More funny too quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't fake it anymore – my 'pretend to like you' days are behind me, just like my ability to pull an all-nighter without feeling it the next day. 😜👵 #KeepingItReal #NoFilter"
5 months ago
Share →: If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Commentary:
"Stay hydrated, folks! 🚽💦 Avoid drama by keeping your bladder busy. Who needs reality TV when you've got nature's call to answer to? Stay hydrated, stay drama-free! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Commentary:
"Looks like the cicadas are taking the 'screaming for six weeks' challenge to a whole new level 🦗🗣️ Hang in there, folks, we're all in this together – just make sure to avoid molting in public 😅 #CicadaLife"
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Commentary:
Well, if you're an introvert, your alibi might just be your cat… who won't testify in court! 🙊🐱 #IntrovertStruggles #CatAlibiDefense
5 months ago
Share →: Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Commentary:
"Podcasts are like babies – some people are just better off admiring them from a safe distance 👶🎙️ Just because you can produce one doesn't mean you should unleash your 'adorable' creation on the world! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Commentary:
🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪
5 months ago
Share →: Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Commentary:
Well, imagine if mosquitos had a refined taste for human fat! 🍔🦟 They could single-handedly revolutionize the weight loss industry, one bite at a time! 💪😆
5 months ago
Share →: I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Commentary:
"Looks like those muggers might need to schedule a rain check if they plan to mug you during your Tai Chi session 🤣👊 Seems like you'll have all the time in the world to prepare your moves at that pace 😉💪"
5 months ago
Share →: You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Commentary:
"Sending your spouse stuff on social media is a slippery slope – one minute you're spreading love, the next minute you're redistributing chores like it's the Wild West 🤠. Proceed with caution, folks! 💻🧹 #MarriageMemes"
5 months ago
Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! 😂 Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. ☕️💁‍♀️"