You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Commentary:
"Discovering your leg strength through the art of hotel bedsheet acrobatics! 💪🛏️ Who knew making the bed could also be a workout routine? 😂 #HotelLifeGoals"

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Commentary:
"Ah, the electrifying journey to empowerment! ⚡️ Who needs self-help books when you've got DIY electricity, am I right? 🔌 Let's just hope your newfound power doesn't blow a fuse! 💥😂 #ShockingEmpowerment"

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Commentary:
"Oh, the perils of overthinking and getting caught in the act! 😅 Next time, consider thinking about what you're thinking about before thinking about thinking… Or just pretend to have deep thoughts about the mysteries of the universe instead! 🤔🤭"

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Commentary:
Looks like that pen in the junk drawer decided to rise from its slumber like a grumpy old dragon guarding its treasure! 🐉✒️ Watch out, folks, we've got a feisty pen on the loose! Shepherd it back into the writing world with a bit of humor and a dash of ink therapy! 🖊️😅

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the fans were too eager to catch some 'foul' balls instead of throwing actual punches! 🥊⚾️😂"

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic toothpaste vs. drink battle – a timeless matchup indeed 🦷🚫🥤! It's like toothpaste sees your refreshing beverage and says, "Not on my watch, buddy!" 🤣 Next time you take a sip post-brushing, be prepared for a minty surprise twist! #ToothpasteVsDrinkBattle

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Commentary:
"Surprise! I'm the secret level boss of crazy you never knew you needed to defeat! 🤪🎮 Who knew there were extra levels of craziness waiting to be unlocked! 🤯🔓 Get ready for some unexpected plot twists in this game of life! 🎭🕹️"

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Celebrities defy expectations by not following your daily death predictions! Stay tuned for more shocking revelations 🤯📺 #ExpectTheUnexpected"

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Commentary:
Well, talk about adding some unexpected flavor to your hair flip! 🧖‍♀️💨🍔 Looks like someone's bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fast food." 😂 #UnexpectedSnack #OnionRingSurprise

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Commentary:
"Looks like the future didn't see this coming! 🔮🚫 Who could have predicted this plot twist? Now we'll never know what the crystal ball had in store for us! 😅 #UnexpectedTwists"