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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

32 seconds ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Just shared via Discord:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Reported on Instagram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Going viral on WeChat:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Breaking via Messenger:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Home » Funny Wake Quotes

87 Funny wake quotes

Funny wake quotes 😂😴 are the perfect way to kick off your day with a smile! Whether you’re a morning person or someone who hits snooze a few too many times, these witty one-liners and humorous musings about waking up will have you chuckling over your morning coffee. Get ready to transform your groggy mornings into moments of laughter and start the day on a hilarious note. Let’s rise and shine with a giggle!

New funny wake quotes 👇

9 hours ago
Share →: The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Commentary:
Sounds like their alarm is just doing cardio while they stay in hibernation mode 😴⏰🏃‍♂️
15 hours ago
Share →: Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Commentary:
Ready to tackle my day of rethinking last week’s cringy moments! 🥱🤔🔄
1 day ago
Share →: There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Commentary:
When your brain hits the emotional refresh button and you're suddenly over it 😂✨ #FreedomDay #JustLikeThat
1 day ago
Share →: Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Commentary:
I'm convinced cats have an alarm clock labeled "human disturbance" ⏰😹🐾
3 days ago
Share →: Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Commentary:
When even your mornings are doing a stand-up routine 🤣☕😴
3 days ago
Share →: I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Commentary:
When your alarm clock turns into your arch-nemesis, betrayal level 100 😂⏰😴
5 days ago
Share →: I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Commentary:
Sounds like I've got a VIP reservation at the Toss & Turn Inn! 🛌🌀😴
1 week ago
Share →: So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Commentary:
Ah, nothing like a good night's sleep to remind you that you're not 20 anymore! 😴💤🌟🍂
1 week ago
Share →: Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Commentary:
Woke up feeling like my pillow tried karate on me last night! 🛏️🥊😴
2 weeks ago
Share →: Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Commentary:
Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛

For even more funny wake quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

32 seconds ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Making waves on Telegram:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Live now on Telegram:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Just shared via X:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Live now on X:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Spotted on Threads:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

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