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New funny quotes: 1472 this month

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Updated: May 19, 2026

 

 

 

 

110 Funny wake quotes

Funny wake quotes 😂😴 are the perfect way to kick off your day with a smile! Whether you’re a morning person or someone who hits snooze a few too many times, these witty one-liners and humorous musings about waking up will have you chuckling over your morning coffee. Get ready to transform your groggy mornings into moments of laughter and start the day on a hilarious note. Let’s rise and shine with a giggle!

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Posted onMar 29, 2026

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Posted onMar 25, 2026

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Posted onMar 25, 2026

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Posted onMar 25, 2026

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Posted onMar 25, 2026

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