Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

55 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Making waves on YouTube:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Trending via Twitch:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Trending via TikTok:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Making waves on Threads:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Reported on Discord:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Reported on Facebook:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Home » Funny Washington Quotes

Funny Washington quotes

New funny Washington quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Commentary:
It seems Washington is really focused on the important issues here – tackling the age-old problem of messy everything bagels! Perhaps his plan involves implementing tiny bagel bibs or creating a special bagel-eating etiquette course for all citizens. Either way, it's clear that Washington has his priorities straight when it comes to the most pressing matters of our time!

For even more funny Washington quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Washington quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

55 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Freshly posted on X:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Breaking via Telegram:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Live now on TikTok:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Shared recently on Discord:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴