I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Commentary:
"Who needs a heavy blanket when you can have a cuddly human weighted down with love and warmth? 😂🤗 #HumanBlanketUpgrade"

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Commentary:
"Looks like we need a 'weighted blanket with a lock' edition to make sure the morning escape mission remains impossible! 🛌⛓️☀️ #NotAMorningPerson"

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy bedding when you've got a mattress for that extra *weight* in your life? 💸😴 #BudgetSleepingHacks"