Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Shared recently on Discord:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Breaking via Facebook:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Just shared via Telegram:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Shared recently on Discord:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Funny womb quotes

Funny womb quotes bring a hilarious twist to the amazing journey of life’s very beginning 🤰😂 From quirky thoughts about the ultimate cozy home to playful takes on baby bump vibes, these gems will have you giggling and appreciating the miracle with a smile 😄✨ Ready to embrace the belly laughs and womb wisdom? Let’s dive into the lighter side of pregnancy and all things baby bump! 🎉👶

New funny womb quotes 👇

All funny womb quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

98 shares on X this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

45 shares on Slack this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

99 shares on X this month:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Making waves on Telegram:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Just shared via X:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Trending via Slack:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Avocado is just green butter.

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