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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Just landed via Instagram:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Live now on TikTok:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Live now on Twitch:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Just shared via X:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Home » Funny Women Quotes » Page 3

100 Funny women quotes

More funny women quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Commentary:
"Ah, the geometry of pizza and women: deliciously puzzling! 😄🍕🔺⬜️"
3 weeks ago
Share →: God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the infamous 'man flu'—nature's way of leveling the playing field! 😂🤧👶"
1 month ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Commentary:
"Congrats to my bra for always being 'uplifting'—it definitely deserves an award! 😂🧡🎉 #SupportiveStar"
1 month ago
Share →: Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Commentary:
"Ah, the original queue routine! 🚶‍♀️➡️🚪💃 #DanceOfDesperation"
1 month ago
Share →: Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's looking for a 'core' relationship! 🍎😂"
2 months ago
Share →: He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

…

Commentary:
"Yeah, he's just really dedicated to the cause of *social* media justice! 😂📢 #AllyOrAddicted?"
2 months ago
Share →: Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

…

Commentary:
"When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"
2 months ago
Share →: Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

👇

Commentary:
"When they finally have a brunch together, the universe might implode from the awkward silence. 🌈🥐😅"
2 months ago
Share →: Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Commentary:
"True, they're like human bug zappers! 😂✨🐞"
2 months ago
Share →: Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for the Olympic Bra-thlon! 🤼‍♀️🏆😂"

For even more funny women quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny women quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Trending via Pinterest:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

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Activity Log ✨

100 Funny women quotes

More funny women quotes 👇

For even more funny women quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny women quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

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