155 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  Ah, group projects in school – the necessary evil that prepares us for the chaos of the corporate world! 🤦‍♂️📚 Who knew that dodging group members in a school project would be the perfect training for dodging responsibility in the office? 😂 Remember, teamwork makes the dream work…unless you're stuck with a team of dreamers who forgot to set their alarms! ⏰ #WorkLife #TeamworkDreamwork

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

  Commentary:
  "Spicing up the workplace with a dash of sass, I like it! 😏💼 Just imagine the boss's reaction when they see 'make me' in response to their important project update emails. 😂📧 Who said professional communication had to be boring, right? 🤷‍♂️ #OfficeRebel"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

  Commentary:
  Looks like their brains were on a sugar rush instead of a thought-provoking one! 🍩🤔 Nothing like thinking about those delicious, doughy circles to get you thinking outside the box! Who knew donuts could be such a dangerous distraction at a think tank? 😂 #DonutDisruption

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

  Commentary:
  Well, if AI starts showing up drunk on Fridays and hitting on your coworkers, at least we can finally say that machines are starting to embrace the 'work hard, play hard' motto 🍻🤖🔥 Just imagine the awkward HR meetings with a robot giving excuses like, "I swear, I thought they were into my efficient algorithms!" 😂 #AIinHR

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

  Commentary:
  "Because in a world where coffee is the elixir of productivity, the sacred duty of brewing a good pot should not be taken lightly! 🤓☕️ Pass the coffee test, earn the brew badge, and welcome to the caffeinated elite circle of office heroes!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal quest for true passion – a journey as elusive as finding the perfect LinkedIn profile picture! 🤣 Maybe one day we'll all be "thrilled" to update our skills section too! #LinkedInStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the trifecta of office woes: The chill chum, the famished friend, and the sleepy sidekick. But you? You are the ultimate office unicorn, embodying all three in a majestic display of multitasking magnificence! 🦄❄️🍔😴."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the simple joys of office life! 🪑😄 Whoever said innovation must be grand clearly never experienced the transformative wonders of a swivel chair. Just remember to schedule regular Spin-In-Your-Chair-And-Contemplate-Life breaks. Who knew productivity could be so… twisty? 🌀 #ChairGoals #TurningTales

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'how is work' small talk question strikes again! 🙄 Yes, Steve, work is just a magical land of rainbows and unicorns where everyday is a picnic. 🦄🌈 Don't mind me, just living the dream in my cubicle. 😂 #adulting"

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