Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Just shared via WeChat:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Going viral on Slack:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Just shared via X:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Just landed via Twitch:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Trending via Messenger:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

2 months ago

0

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your weekend had more mood swings than a rollercoaster! 🎢😄 It's like a suspenseful movie plot of light and dark moments, leading to the grand finale – Monday, the day we all love to hate! 😂 But hey, at least you got some excitement out of it, right? 😉 #WeekendWhiplash

dark, humor, irony, life, light, Monday, time, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

0

2 months ago

after, airport, crazy, eat, eating, flight, food, funny realization, humor, just, realization, revelation, too, travel, travel humor
Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

0

2 months ago

behavior, care, fun, humor, introvert, just, know, privacy, social, social behavior, too
Eating healthy requires a second job.

0

2 months ago

diet, eating, healthy, healthy eating, humor, job, lifestyle, money, second, work
I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, humor, i, night, should, sleep, think, tossing, turning
Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

0

2 months ago

around, ceiling, chore, cleaning, family, help, here, household, household chore, humor, me, mom, organization, rack, say, sock, socks, spice, spice rack, vacuum
How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

0

2 months ago

existential, figment, humor, identity, imagination, just, know, question, reality, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Facebook this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

51 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

21 shares on Slack this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Breaking via X:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spotted on Messenger:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Just landed via Twitch:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴