Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.
  • By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.
  • I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.
  • If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.
  • I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.
  • So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000