Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I may not be winning any marathons, but I excel at the mental gymnastics of leaping to conclusions! Watch out, I've got gold medal potential in the sport of assumption!"

athletic, conclusion, good, humor, irony, jumping, self-deprecation, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

57 shares on X this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

42 shares on Threads this month:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Seen just now on Discord:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Spotted on Discord:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Going viral on Slack:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨