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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Trending via Threads:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Just shared via TikTok:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Trending via TikTok:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Shared recently on X:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Meow means woof in cat.

7 days ago

Humorous text highlighting feline humor: "Meow means woof in cat" displayed as witty words.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well… seems like the cats are trying to join the bark side! 🐾🐱🐶 Who knew their meows had a secret translation for "woof" all along? 😂 Next thing you know, they'll be chasing their tails and fetching sticks! 🐾🐕 #LostInTranslation #CatVsDog

animals, cat, humor, language, means, meow, translation, woof

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Going viral on X:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Live now on Messenger:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Just landed via Instagram:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just shared via X:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Going viral on Threads:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

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