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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.
  • I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.
  • I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.
  • God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”
  • Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”
  • It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.