Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Just landed via Telegram:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Breaking via Threads:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Breaking via X:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently my navigational skills are so superior, I practically guarantee arrival at the desired destination 🗺️🏆💪 #GPSinHumanForm"

achievement, brag, directions, humor, i, navigation, someone, success

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

2 months ago

activity, bigger, expectation, family, fun, humor, lie, truth, whole
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

2 months ago

fear, height, humor, irony, me, people, perspective, phobia, width
Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

2 months ago

battery, call, conversation, every, excuse, hang, hang up, humor, phone, phone call, start, trick, want, whenever
Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

2 months ago

avoidance, conversation, friends, funny response, humor, i, long time, me, purpose, response, seen, social, time
Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

2 months ago

conversation, human, humor, identity, irony, okay, proof, prove, robot, technology
Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

3 months ago

anxiety, apology, back, communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, people, social, social anxiety, social interaction, sorry, talking, text, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

50 shares on X this month:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Breaking via X:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Just landed via WeChat:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Just landed via Telegram:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨