Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Trending via Messenger:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Breaking via Discord:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This whole week could have been an email.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Seen just now on Discord:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently my navigational skills are so superior, I practically guarantee arrival at the desired destination 🗺️🏆💪 #GPSinHumanForm"

achievement, brag, directions, humor, i, navigation, someone, success

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

2 months ago

apology, circumstances, control, honesty, humor, i, late, running, running late, self-awareness, sorry, things
I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, choice, choices, croc, Crocs, footwear, humor, i, life, never, pair
Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

2 months ago

commitment, decision, humor, me, name, never, regret, regrets, relationship, talk, tattoo
I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

2 months ago

deleted, enough, humor, i, know, media, never, permanence, regret, self-awareness, should, social, social media, tattoo, tweet, Tweets
According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

2 months ago

cremation, death, death joke, humor, joke, just, pun, urn, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Threads this month:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

28 shares on Discord this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

62 shares on Slack this month:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Just landed via Slack:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨