Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Going viral on Instagram:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Going viral on TikTok:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Just landed via Threads:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Making waves on Discord:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Live now on Reddit:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

More funny quotes 👇

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

0

17 hours ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year
“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

0

17 hours ago

alone, everyone, family, holiday, home, home alone, house, humor, moment, movie, peace, reminder
For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

0

17 hours ago

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish
Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

0

17 hours ago

1, 2, Christmas, holiday, humor, oh, procrastination, shopping, stages, stress, time
Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

0

17 hours ago

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

17 hours ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

17 hours ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

3

2 days ago

car, car repair, carey, cd, Christmas, Christmas CD, fine, holiday, holiday music, making, mariah, Mariah Carey, mechanic, music, noise, repair, terrible
I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

0

2 days ago

budgeting, finance, hate, humor, i, lose, math, me, money, personal, personal finance, self blame, spending, where
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

2 days ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

62 shares on X this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

63 shares on Threads this month:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Just landed via Discord:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Trending via Threads:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Live now on Reddit:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨