Wordgag ツ

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.