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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Making waves on Threads:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Spotted on Telegram:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

2 months ago

0

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the tragic tale of parallel lines – destined to run alongside each other forever, yet never able to share a point of connection. Like ships passing in the night, or two introverts at a party who both desperately avoid eye contact 🚢🌌. It’s a geometry love story for the ages! 😂 #ParallelLinesProblems"

common, geometry, humor, irony, line, mathematics, meet, parallel, parallel line, shame

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

0

2 months ago

confession, crime, duty, escape, funny situation, got, humor, jury, jury duty, situation, yesterday
I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

0

2 months ago

confusion, construction, humor, i, know, next, next steps, questions, steps, understand, understanding
Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

0

2 months ago

back, feeling, going, humor, just, lunch, motivation, office, return, struggle, vacation, work
Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

0

4 months ago

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship
Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

0

2 months ago

binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

0

2 months ago

back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

42 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

11 shares on X this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Breaking via Discord:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Seen just now on Slack:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Making waves on Telegram:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Just shared via Discord:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Going viral on X:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Broadcasted on X:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

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