Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, trying to please everyone is like trying to juggle water – impossible! But hey, if you want to make everyone angry, just breathe – it's as easy as baking a cake!

angry, cake, everyone, expectation, humor, impossible, making, pleasing, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

0

2 months ago

applause, confusion, humor, humorist, i, misunderstanding, read, satire, wordplay
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

0

2 months ago

back, boomerang, free, freedom, humor, love, relationship, return, set, something
If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

0

4 months ago

attitude, bit, good, handle, humor, joke, jokes, me, missing, personality, relationship, worst
Life is short, flirt with me!

0

2 months ago

flirt, fun, humor, life, love, me, playful, relationship, short
It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

0

2 months ago

actually, admit, away, bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, good, good night, honesty, humor, i, night, procrastination, right, routine, say, sleep, something, sometimes, time
Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

0

2 months ago

communication, ever, humor, i, Korean, language, over, reason, scream, text, think, time, uppercase

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

40 shares on Discord this month:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

66 shares on X this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

22 shares on Telegram this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Breaking via Reddit:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Just landed via Discord:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Spotted on Instagram:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Just landed via Facebook:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Spotted on YouTube:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just shared via Discord:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Life is short, flirt with me!

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨