19 funny impossible quotes - Wordgag

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

May 23, 2026

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

May 23, 2026

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

May 22, 2026

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

May 22, 2026

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

May 22, 2026

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

May 20, 2026

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

May 20, 2026

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

May 20, 2026

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

May 20, 2026

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Apr 1, 2026

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Mar 31, 2026

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Mar 29, 2026

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Mar 29, 2026

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Mar 28, 2026

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Mar 27, 2026

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Mar 27, 2026

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Mar 26, 2026