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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Just shared via TikTok:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Going bananas on Discord:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Shared recently on Discord:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Reverse psychology at its finest! 😉 Try "Spot" instead of "Tops" for a better outcome! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"

backwards, crush, fun, humor, joke, name, playfulness, relationship, spell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, best, brand, city, city life, daily, daily life, dating, day, every, hot, hot woman, hottest, humor, life, literally, new, NYC, single, woman
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year
I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

0

2 months ago

food, humor, i, joke, kick, mushroom, order, pizza
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

0

2 months ago

2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped
No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

0

3 months ago

am, enough, experience, experiences, God, humor, i, intelligence, learning, learning experience, please, prayer, sarcasm, smart
There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, confinement, humanity, humor, irony, sadness, smoker, smokers, terrarium, travel, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Discord this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

32 shares on Discord this month:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨