Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?
  • People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.
  • I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.
  • If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.
  • People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.
  • I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.