Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.
  • I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.
  • When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.
  • I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.