50+ Funny Earth Jokes That Keep the Planet Laughing

New funny Earth jokes

• Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

• It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

• Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

• It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

• I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

• Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

• Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

• Earth is hard.

• Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

• I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Top funny Earth jokes

• Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

• All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

• My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

• A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

• I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

• Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

• If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

• I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

• How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

• Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Popular funny Earth jokes

• I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

• Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

• Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

• The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

• Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

• 90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

• Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

• My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

• If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

• Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

More funny Earth jokes

• Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

• Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

• In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

• Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

• Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

• My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

• I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

• It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

• If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

• Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Witty Earth jokes

• I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

• As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

• I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

• So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

• Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

• Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

• Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

• “I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

• We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

• If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.