Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.
  • I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.
  • No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
  • If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.
  • If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.
  • Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.