Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Trending via Facebook:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Breaking via X:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Just landed via WeChat:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Making waves on Slack:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Spotted on X:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Making waves on YouTube:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Breaking via Instagram:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Making waves on Telegram:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Blink if you want me!

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text expressing flirtation, with a humorous and flirty vibe.

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Commentary:
"Either my charm is blinding or you just have something in your eye 😉😎 #WinkIfYoureInterested"

attraction, blink, communication, date, flirty, humor, me, signal, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

78 shares on X this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Going viral on X:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Trending via Reddit:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Going viral on Facebook:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Spotted on Twitch:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Breaking via Slack:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Going viral on Instagram:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blink if you want me!

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blink if you want me!

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨