Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

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What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

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If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

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My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

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Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

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Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

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Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

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My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

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When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

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There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

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Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.